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Clearing the Browser Tabs – The Cowardice of the Brave Left Wednesday Edition Posted: 22 Jun 2011 09:16 AM PDT Surely the open-minded fans of transparency and free debate who run the yearly Netroots Nation conference wouldn’t be so petty that they’d take extraordinary measures to make sure a competing grassroots conservative conference couldn’t operate in the same city at the same time as their jamboree would they? Oh, you know the answer to that one. I’m sure they have a good reason to be afraid of Right Online. Maybe they’re concerned that Andrew Breitbart will saunter menacingly toward them and attempt to watch their shindig without the proper credentials again. On the other hand, if they deny conservatives a nearby place to meet, then how will they get their next story about Sooper Sekrit progressive spies who journeyed into the very belly of the beast and found widespread acceptance and politeness along with conservative politics? And now, links!
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A #Caring Note of Encouragement and Inspiration to my Left Wing Friends Posted: 21 Jun 2011 10:16 AM PDT Credit: Americans for Prosperity Maybe you’re one of those progressive folks who has resolved that you will no longer simply lie down and offer your support to the President’s re-election efforts like a desperate hooker. You are fresh from an energetic and passion-laden Netroots Nation convention during which you and your fellow unique and special snowflakes booed Barack Obama and quaked in barely-restrained anger at the mere existence of those evil conservatives meeting right across the hall. You are determined to make this President live up to all the grand promises of progressive utopia he made during his 2008 campaign, constant disappointment be damned! And you are angry at the constant betrayals. So very angry. Well buck up, little camper, because your President has heard your pleas and has inclined his ear to your cries. Well, he didn’t incline his ear as much as he inclined David Axelrod, the Grima Wormtongue of American politics, to nod occasionally at your pleas as if he actually heard you then deliver a few comforting platitudes. You see, my left-wing friends, President Obama knows something that only the most brave and well-paid among you will admit openly. You’re in the bag for Barack Obama in 2012 and nothing he does between now and then will cause you to vote for anyone else.
There you are, you adorable little left-wing rage machine you. There are all your friends as well — the ones who can look as a “Free Mumia” bumper sticker and know immediate that it’s not a poorly-spelled request to release Imhotep and who honestly like Rage Against the Machine instead of recoiling from them lest they contract Poser Flu. Did you like that patronizing little pat on the head from a guy who is barely above the level of lapdog himself? Go back and read what Axelrod had to say and pay special attention to what he didn’t say. He didn’t say the President would try harder to advance the progressive agenda. He didn’t say the President would move on gay marriage like you believed he would. He didn’t say he’s crush those evil rich people like you believed. He didn’t say the White House had a Sooper Sekrit plan to end global warming or climate change or whatever term you guys are using to describe a climate that’s been changing since before any of us emitted our first Gaia-slaughtering exhalation of carbon dioxide. He didn’t say any of that because he didn’t have to. He knows you’re in the bag because you and your fellow committed progressives told him so.
I’m afraid that you’re not yelling loudly enough. You need to hit the streets and get in the President’s face. When he calls you “sanctimonious” and a “purist”, you need to punch back twice as hard. Not a day should go by that you aren’t making a huge scene that shows up on the nightly news. Overload his campaign machine’s ability to handle your complaints quietly and efficiently with that cool Cloward-Piven thing you do. Maybe you can enlist some of those nice SEIU folks. I’m sure they’d be willing to help out and they have loads of free time now that they’re all done in Wisconsin (and they probably have lots of revolutionary fervor left over, too)! The point is, you’re being taken for granted and you shouldn’t accept it. You are special! You are smart! People like you, even if they do shift uneasily in their seats when you start talking about EvilBushHitler and how he’s still ruining the economy 2 1/2 years after he left office. You are the person you’ve been waiting for! You have hope! You can effect change! Yes! You! Can! Now go get ‘em, Tiger! (Thanks to Kurt Schlichter for the hashtag in the post title. Who can argue with caring?) |
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